The Professional Mexican


Dear Mexican: My question is simple: Can you please confirm the
fact that there are doctors, lawyers, and other professionals living in
Mexico? I’m a Mexican-American woman living in Chicago who had a heated
discussion about that topic. My friend, who is a teacher at a local
school, was of the opinion that there really aren’t any. She believes
that the only wealthy Mexicans are druglords. There seems to be a lot
of ignorance and confusion about this topic. Please enlighten her and
those who think like her. —Incensed in Chicago

Dear Brazer: Por supuesto there are doctors, lawyers,
accountants, scientists, and other professionals in Mexico—who do
you think sews up the narcos after a gun battle, fights off
American extradition efforts, launders their money, and devises
nuevas ways to smuggle?

Something I’ve never understood about other Mexicans, as I am
one: When speaking to other Mexicans about higher education and its
importance, they always interrupt me to place an emphasis on the
associate’s degree. I’ve wanted to slap a

silly. Why the low standard? I’ve asked educators about this before
and been told that it was a low-achievement standard placed on
Mexican-American students in the 1960s and ’70s by mainly high school
counselors. True? —Párate and Deliver

Dear Wab: Instead of giving your
primo/prima/amigo a cachetada, why don’t
you help them transfer to a four-year university? Heaven knows America
needs more of its Mexicans at institutes of higher learning. The 2008
U.S. Census Bureau Current Population Survey’s Annual Social and
Economic Supplement
found that only 28 percent of Latinos who
finished high school went on to earn at least a bachelor’s
degree—and the percentage for Mexis is undoubtedly smaller. Why
the low standard? Ignorance, silly! Not just limited to Know Nothings!
Oh, and I don’t think there was a widespread gabacho counselor
conspiracy in the 1960s to funnel Mexicans of that generation into
community college—most encouraged their charges to not bother
with education, period.

Why are Mexicans so . . . laidback? —Crazy and Lazy

Dear Gabacho: Mañana, mañana. Que
será, será
. Mexicans sleeping under a cactus. All
iconic American commentaries on our inherent relaxed nature. La
is, Mexicans are more neurotic than Woody Allen’s on-screen
persona—and if you don’t believe me, you try living life
avoiding la migra.

I recently worked security at a Tumbleweeds concert here in
Albuquerque. As I was checking IDs and letting people into the beer
area, I noticed that almost all of the Mexican guys held onto their
wives/girlfriends/lady friends’ IDs. The women don’t hold their own
IDs; the guys hold them, show them, then put them back into their own
wallets. What’s up with that? I asked a co-worker about this, and she
told me it’s a power thing. So what’s the deal? —Curious

Dear Gabacho: Could be a power-trip macho thing, but probably is
because the chica didn’t want to carry a purse and would rather
let her man carry the ID than stick it between her chichis.
Sometimes, Mexicans aren’t rocket science.

Ask the Mexican at or, find him on
Facebook or Twitter, or write via snail mail at: Gustavo Arellano, P.O.
Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815-1433!