Equality

Movie Stills of Me!

by

You’ve already seen the sneak peak of The Big Gay Musical, the future blockbuster that starts with me as a cranky theater patron walking out of a bad play (a real stretch I know). Well, here are the stills! Don’t take them in all at once–you might have a heart attack–but pore over each one slowly, making sure you’re well before gently moving your eyes to the next one.

Now tell me: Have you ever witnessed such breadth of emotion? Even in black and white and without speaking a syllable, I am clearly giving a performance that will rival the Duff sisters at the Oscars next year. In fact, while you thought I put the “gay” in The Big Gay Musical, clearly I put the “big”!!! I’m preparing to scream out my acceptance speech in an angry fashion a la Alice Ripley and then I will thank my siblings, like the Billy Elliot boys did, even though I have none. And then my speech itself will win awards! This gay shit will get even bigger!!!! You watch my turds!!!