Two Swedish Douches Insult Me Big-Time


Remember my post about how various foreign TV crews have scheduled interviews with me and then screwed me over by not showing up, even though I was doing THEM a favor? Neither do I, but it’s sort of happened again, folks.

Recently, I was asked to tape a guest spot for the illustrious Filip & Fredrik, described as “Scandinavian mega stars and most popular TV personalities,” who were coming to tape in NYC whether we wanted them or not.

Said the invite, “Filip and Fredrik will be presenting specially designed gold watches to a handful of notable quintessential New Yorkers, honoring them for representing the best of the city. They would be honored to have you in this group. They are HUGE fans of yours and obviously think of you as an important New York staple.”

Well, one of the two HUGE fans called me to talk about the interview, and I was perfectly agreeable about it, thinking it could be sort of low-grade fun. A few weeks later, he called me again to catch up and to insultingly tell me that “There’s wide and narrow, and let’s face it, in Sweden you’re narrow”–meaning a complete nonentity, sort of like HE is in America! The freak was courting me by telling me I’m a total unknown! He also was urging me to be kind of generic and talking-head-like on camera rather than do anything too risky. But he still wanted to do the interview, so I bit my tongue, figuring I could melt the gold watch and sell it on Canal Street.

And then they never contacted me again! These two Swedish meatballs had the nerve to bother me with fake praise, tell me I’m nothing, beg me to water down my act, and then just leave me hanging without the promised gift. Is this some new form of Stockholm syndrome?