Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


On Third Avenue.

Albany went coup-coup! Pedro Espada Jr. seized the state senate with the help of Hiram Monserrate and billionaire Tom Golisano. After some skirmishes, which saw Tom Duane appearing to lean GOP to save gay marriage, the Dems locked the chamber, but Espada got the key and the GOP went in, but Monserrate, already vacillating, left a few minutes later. The fight spilled into a courtroom, where a judge punted to Monday while Democrats worked over Monserrate. The eventual winner: democracy!

Obama showed his shoe to Israel and his support for DOMA. Mayor Bloomberg, freshly polled, won the people’s approval but lost a race to Someone Else. Kirsten Gillibrand scooped up more endorsements. Only Jonathan Tasini dares to oppose her.

A neo-Nazi shot up the D.C. Holocaust Museum.

Somebody Got Murdered: Jackson Avenue, East 222nd Street, and Tiffany Avenue and East 165th Street in The Bronx, West 71st Street, West 204th Street, and Times Square in Manhattan, Avenue A (x2) and Linden Street in Brooklyn, and by the Van Wyck (x2) and at Barclay Avenue and 147th Street in Queens. Doesn’t that seem like a lot?

Graham Rayman reviewed Donny Moss‘ attack on Christine Quinn, examined New York’s woeful DNA record, stayed on the Madonna Constantine case, and looked in on the jailhouse Bar Mitzvah boys. Neil deMause followed Quinn’s and Bloomberg’s money trail. Wayne Barrett looked at Bloomberg’s on-shore tax shelters and the congratulations allegedly offered Espada by Governor Paterson. Elizabeth Dwoskin looked at NYPD’s spies, Andrew Cuomo‘s foreclosure scam bust. Tom Robbins followed an indicted Arroyo and his assemblywoman grandma, Martin Golden and his pal Hiram, and “Bronx Schemer of the Week” Larry Seabrook. Alison Benedikt contemplated Ari Emanuel and the drunk anti-Obama Jews video. Allen Barra scanned changes at the NFL Players Association and picked the winners in the Subway Series. Rend Smith saw Jersey pols outsmart New Yorkers. Emily Brady rounded up a cow-pony.

Twitter gave us an Obama assassination fantasy and hot guys on the internet.

Crapalicious: Lady Be Lovely and Going Places.

Rightbloggers got mad at Playboy, which warmed them up for their attack on the evil pervert David Letterman, whose nemesis Sarah Palin invaded New York.

The New York Times bashed hipsters and Italian justice, but praised beater bikes. Ross Douthat offered a compromise between abortion proponents and opponents (capitulation by the former).

The Sox kicked the butts of the Yankees, who will soon take it out on the Mets. Hugh Grant kicked a guy in the nuts.

David Carradine got a new autopsy.

Swine Flu PANIC went to Level 6. The DOH said over a half million New Yorkers might have caught it! And we’re up to 15 dead.

We failed to get a digital converter box. What’s happening on Judge Judy?

Billy Elliot swept the Tonys. Nurses panned Nurse Jackie. two reporters got hard labor in North Korea, Britney Spears got naked, Carrie Prejean got fired. The city screwed cyclists and a Fox News writer ran one down. Chrysler got help from the bench.

Howard Dean endorsed Josh Skaller — then endorsed someone else for the same race. That’s just the sort of week it was.