Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


Twitpic by moises.

The spectre of death stalked the nation. We were all shocked by the death of a great American musician: Sky Saxon. Also, Michael Jackson. We looked at his fans, press reactions, his good works and his weird headlines. And let’s not forget Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon.

President Obama had a fun press conference, including a planted question of which Tom Robbins did not approve. Rightbloggers raged against Obama’s ice cream of indifference.

Governor Mark Sanford drew our admiration for his wacky exploits, then our astonishment as he confessed his affair. The world went looking for his mistress’ photos, and we found some fakes.

Governor Paterson surged to a 31 percent approval rating! And another poll was just as encouraging! Andrew Cuomo quietly kept piling up the indictments, this time against a thugged-out debt collector.

The Albany Coup continued, with Governor Paterson calling a special session and inviting a judge to run it. At first Democrats liked the idea so much they wanted the special session all to themselves and locked the Republicans out. The GOP got in anyway and the two sides talked over each other. They scheduled another session, in the same special way, sending the GOP to court. Then, another special session, and some insults from Kevin Parker, for which he apologized. The senators went home, proud of all they had demolished.

Michael Bloomberg had a mixed week. A judge shot down his green cab plan. His Administration planned to dump toxic sludge all over the place. But he cut a deal with the teachers’ union. And the Irish love him!

Robert Morgenthau endorsed Cy Vance Jr., and Tom Robbins looked at what it was worth.

We celebrated Pride Week by reminiscing on the days when gay people thought the Voice hated them, and our Big Gay Issue. Perez Hilton celebrated Pride Week by calling a faggot, for which he got beat up. Hilton said at first it was who beat him, then, in a spectacular video, said it was the Black Eyed Peas‘ road manager.

Someone Got Murdered: at East 119 Street and Park Avenue and 226 West 150th Street.

Our Crap Studies expert dug through an old Miss America contest.

We reviewed the nude iPhone app before it got pulled.

We found, and enjoyed as we always do, reports of more Scientology nuttiness, including the story of the slap-happy spiritual leader who reclaimed Tom Cruise, who will now be allowed to move to the Village.

A building collapsed; another threatened to, inconveniencing Robert Pattinson. Nine people died in the D.C. Metro crash. Someone sent a ridiculous reply to a Craigslist roommate ad.

Coney got a Mermaid Parade, Washington Square Park got rent-a-cops, Bruce Ratner got a subway stop named after his Atlantic Yards project, Charlie Rangel got investigated. After a big ad campaign and a lively protest, landlords won some fat rent hikes. An Oscar-winning songwriter got indicted for multiple rapes. Boxers buried one of their own. Two aides of councilmember Kendall Stewart were indicted. French tourists went for a ride. Oscar doubled down.

And now we’re going to moonwalk on out of here. Enjoy the weekend.