Down With Al Franken!


I’m beyond horrified that Al Franken will be sworn in as a Minnesota senator. Not because of his liberal politics, mind you–I adore them– but because people sometimes mistake me for the comic-turned-politico, and I was secretly hoping he’d go away so this wouldn’t happen anymore. I am not making this up, people. A man once chased me down the street insisting I was Franken and imploring me to sign an autograph, smoke billowing out of his nose with a vehemence that suggested I’d better go along with this crazed identity mishap or die. Others run up to me and gurgle, “I loved you as Stuart Smalley!” thinking they’re ever so perceptive and adorable as they wait for me to say “I’m good enough…”

The situation has really defeated me, especially since, when I finally met Franken, he came up to my kneecaps! How could we be interchangeable? People are obviously blinded by the fact that we both have tousled hair and dazzling wit. Hopefully, Franken will turn out to be as behaviorally conflicted as some Republicans and will eventually be impeached for squalid doings and then I can live in peace, assured of his return to anonmity. (As long as another liberal comic takes his place–one that doesn’t look like me that much. Maybe Wanda Sykes?)