Michael Jackson’s illustrious but weird life will surely be turned into a TV movie as soon as the sequins get cold. So I’ve been doing some imaginary casting and coming up with these fanciful yet mildly disturbing inevitabilities:
As Michael: Usher. They can digitize the surgery.
As the other members of the Jackson 5: Who cares? Do you even know all their names?
As Michael’s parents: Danny Glover and Alfre Woodard. Bring on the Emmy awards.
As Diana Ross: It’s too bad Michael isn’t around because he would have been great for this part. In his absence, I’ll have to go with Ashanti.
As themselves: Debbie Rowe, Lisa Marie Presley, Dr. Conrad Murray, and LaToya Jackson. No, wait, LaToya should play Michael! And then they should cut her out, like in Bruno!
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on July 2, 2009