Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


Dance troupe, Governor’s Island.

Boy, what a week. Gay Pride was effulgent as ever with three D.A. candidates voguing for the cameras, but marred by a gay-bashing on the Upper East Side. The authorities got involved and the cops went to work, and now it looks like there have been more such incidents in the same area. Not a good way to kick off party season.

Plus Michael Jackson stayed dead. Rightbloggers mourned the passing of a political opportunity. The city council paid tribute and some members walked out. We did our own massive tribute, and pointed out the astonishing similarities between the King of Pop and John Dillinger.

The Albany Coup entered its third sold-out week. The Governor sicced the law on them. That got them all to show up, but not to do anything else. Then: Breakthough! A Republican Senator walked through a Democratic session, and the Dems declared a quorum. The Governor refused to sign the bills they passed and made them work at night. The Dems played mind games with the GOP and the Governor made them work over the weekend. Well, at least it got Pedro Espada in New York magazine.

Mayor Bloomberg, mad about his loss of mayoral control, called on citizens to harass the state senators to prevent the beginning of a new Soviet Union. The control deadline passes, but crafty Bloomie just made a puppet Board of Ed which begged to be disbanded. Problem solved! (The kids still don’t get Muslim holidays off, though.)

The Mayor then joined rivals Bill Thompson and Tony Avella in a Working Families Party forum and told the incredulous crowd that “you can’t buy an election.”

Congresswoman Carolyn Maloney let it be known that she will run against Senator Kirsten Gillibrand. Dem Loyalists rushed to intercede.

It rained too much.

The Mets had a rough week, too. They got swept by the cursed Yankees and, Allen Berra said, it was even worse than it looked. Then they got mobbed by furries. Well, at least they’re better off than Jim Leyritz.

Is it a little ick to have a Studies in Crap called “Chocolate Fantasies“?

Al Franken, Al Franken, Al cold cold Franken.

Argentine adulterer Governor Mark Sanford came up with some more pressworthy statements. His mistress made a statement of her own.

Somebody Got Murdered: at East 140th Street, at Mickle Avenue near Dawson Road, and at Bronxwood Avenue and East 217th Street in the Bronx, at Nostrand and Bergen and at 67 Montrose in Brooklyn, at 171-69 46th Avenue and at 137-41 173rd Street in Queens, and at East 26th Street between First and Second in Manhattan.

Missing: Alyssa Davilla, Christan Aguero, Yan Chong Liao, Stephanie Johannsen. And please be on the lookout for a jewel thief and a sexual predator.

Bernie Madoff went to jail forever, and people reveled in Madenfreude. ABC No Rio got some scrilla. Sonia Sotomayor got reversed. Sarah Palin stretched her 15 minutes of outrage. (Also back on the scene like a Fail machine: Joe the Plumber!)

Tea Party people brought the rage back to Manhattan, this time in Times Square.

Three men fell in a Queens sewer hole and died. Hardhats got fired for drinking on the job. Staten Island warred on bike lanes. Striking Stella D’Oro workers got a break. J. D. Salinger lost an unwanted collaborator. Karl Malden joined the rep company in the sky. The Staten Island Ferry crashed hard-landed, caused by a power failure. Rich people’s housing costs went down. A brand new cop made a collar.

Happy War on the 4th of July! See you around sometime.