The Staples Center mayhem — allegedly featuring the remains of the deceased — is just hours away! The New York Post does some fine journalistic double-dipping, proclaiming “JACKO GHOULS EYE PROFITS OF DOOM” while announcing you can watch the memorial on their web site! Charles Foster Kane would be proud. We do not doubt their report that lucky recipients of lottery-drawn tickets to the affair (one winner’s email is partially shown above; see the rest of it here) are selling them online for up to $25,000 a pair. In fact we sympathize; some guy is peddling copies of our Michael Jackson issue on eBay. He’ll be hearing from our crack team of legal interns. And UPTOWNflavor calls our attention to an oil painting of MJ on display at Dancy-Power Automotive in Harlem which will no doubt become some sort of shrine. Fans and the journalists who prey on them won’t want to miss this once in a lifetime opportunity. It’s the final ka-ching!