Theater archives

Booze on Broadway: What Next?


The ’80s jukebox musical Rock of Ages has been trying to scare up extra bucks and applause by having crouching workers run down the aisles selling alcoholic beverages to the crowd throughout the show (though when I saw it, no one was biting. They must have already been tanked from the matinee.)

If this becomes a trend, how could other productions tailor it to their own specific aesthetic needs? Not surprisingly, I have some ideas:

Next To Normal can serve cups of Zoloft with a warning, “Don’t flush it away!!”

Waiting For Godot can make you pay in advance for your delicious, lifesaving cocktail, which will never come.

9 To 5 should serve steaming cups of ambition in cheap styrofoam cups.

Mary Poppins can sell a spoonful of sugar for $10 plus tax and tip.

And Carrie Fisher‘s Wishful Drinking can serve whatever the fuck you want!