Fans who are true to the orange and blue — whose Mets have recently suffered the wrath of God in injuries and humiliating sweeps — are probably drinking heavily already, but we have to tip our caps to Amazin’ Avenue for their Gary, Keith and Rod Drinking Game, which offers ample opportunities for drunkenness during local broadcasts called by Gary Cohen and ex-Mets Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling. Among the occurrences allowing One Sip: “Keith calls an RBI a ‘ribeye steak,'” “Gary refers to any single play as a microcosm of the season,” and “The delicious Citi Field food is brought up.” Two Sips: “Ron brings up a member of the local media by name,” “Keith tells a non-baseball story from 20+ years ago.” Three Sips: “Keith talks with food in his mouth,” “The announcers’ SAT scores are discussed.” You get a White Russian when “anyone uses the word ‘dude.'” Try it at home! Like Tim Redding, you won’t last seven innings.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on July 9, 2009