Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


Crowd at RiverFlicks for Grown-ups showing of Iron Man.

The Albany Coup is over! The first week was our favorite, but this one was choice. It started with state senators, reenergized after a holiday weekend of three-minute workdays, returning for more of the same. But Governor Paterson got crafty and suggested getting a lieutenant governor to break the deadlock. Andrew Cuomo shot that down, but a defiant Paterson tapped Richard Ravitch. The Republicans ran to Nassau County to stop it, but Paterson and Ravitch went to the birthplace of Democracy, Peter Luger’s, and beat them to the punch with a secret swearing-in. Paterson also lawyered up. Just as we hit the brink of a Constitutional crisis, Pedro Espada flipped back to the Dems. He got majority leader, we got warm gush about “empowerment.” The new senate became a legislatin’ machine, quickly passing 135 bills — but gay marriage wasn’t among them. Ha ha! It’s like nothing changed except the names on the member items.

Our next political nightmare: the Sotomayor Hearings! Coming Monday.

Mayor Bloomberg polled great: most citizens want someone else but will vote for him. But he lost the Working Families Party endorsement to Bill Thompson. Tom Robbins and Wayne Barrett both looked askance at his new Board of Ed.

Obama went to Europe to allegedly ogle pretty girls.

Despite the objections of Representative Pete King, Michael Jackson‘s life was celebrated in L.A. and in Harlem. Even a Chinese drug addict paid tribute.

And Pete King got some blowback. But Madonna still has to contend with Lech Walesa.

Somebody Got Murdered: at the corner of Arthur Kill Road and Ilyssa Way in Staten Island, the corner of East 80th Street and Glenwood Road, 1306 Loring Avenue, 67 Montrose Avenue, 1605 Fulton Street, and 17 Midwood Street in Brooklyn, and 695 East 163rd Street in The Bronx.

Police are looking for a sexual assailant, a bank fraudster, and the Radio Shack Robbers. They were looking for the Crown Heights butt-slapper, but they caught him! They also caught Superman in Times Square.

Sarah Palin blathered on, as did her loyal acolytes. She named our own Wayne Barrett in a legal threat. Wayne let her know what he thought about that.

The Mets got swept and swept again. Even ex-Met Lenny Dykstra had a bad week. Fortunately there’s a drinking game for Mets fans. Allen Barra wondered if Johan Santana is pitched out. The Yankees were told they couldn’t keep a guy from going to the bathroom during “God Bless America.”

An ATM in DUMBO charged $3.99 for a withdrawal. A fireball baffled the East Village. Cleaver fever came to Bay Ridge. Turtles attacked Kennedy Airport! The Bronx lost a cookie factory and the jobs that went with. Brooklyn was threatened with a Sex and the City of its own. Greenpoint got a new park, or at least the prospect of one. Welfare cases got a few more bucks. MTA fans got a subway map dress. Landlords got into hot water.

Ladies and gentlemen, your moment of Crap: Suck It Up Buttercup!

Rents fell (not enough) and so did Anthony Marshall (again). Marion Barry was caught on tape lookin’ bad. Killer Darryl Littlejohn got life; fraudster lawyer Marc S. Dreier is looking at 145 years.

You still can’t buy out of state wine on the internet, citizens.

RIP Robert S. McNamara and this week.