Photo: Jack Dempsey/AP.
“Captain Morgan” gave this “Calling All Captains” jersey to actress Alyssa Milano at the Ryan Howard Foundation All-Star event in St. Louis on Monday. We publish it because it delights us, and because we want to know if you hear the same monologue going on in “Captain Morgan”‘s head as we do (“She’s an actress, she knows how it is. Don’t you, honey? I think we’re having fun. She respects what I’m doing. It doesn’t matter whether it’s Hamlet or Captain Morgan, if you do it with commitment, you honor the gods of the theatre! I’m so depressed. Tonight I’m going to take drugs and have anonymous sex with men who smell bad”).
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