News & Politics

2 Madonna Stage Workers Killed in French Collapse; Virgin Mary Suspected

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It is a well-known principle of modern life that you don’t fuck with Madonna. But what if Madonna fucks with Madonna — that is, the Mother of Christ? Earlier this month Lech Walesa and other angry Poles denounced Madonna Ciccone for threatening to perform in Warsaw on August 15, the Feast of the Assumption and the Virgin Mary’s holy day. In addition to legal sanctions, they promised a “prayer crusade.” Now we learn that two workmen helping to put up the stage for a Madonna concert in Marseille were killed in a roof cave-in; eight other workers were injured.


Coincidence? Those of us raised in the One True Faith know that its God is a God of wrath, especially when it comes to His daughter-in-law. If Madonna knows what’s good for her, she’ll start praising Jesus onstage like a country star, and maybe say a novena.

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