Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


The Sotomayor hearings commenced with protesters. Chuck Schumer did his bit. Lindsey Graham copped out, or so the rightwingers said — so he hassled Sonia on her temperament. Jeff Sessions tried to get cute. A rightwing Representative and a “flaming liberal” discussed the case amicably. Finally the Republicans all said their were “troubled,” the New Yorkers at the scene all said she was a peach, and that was that till the inevitable confirmation.

Mayor Bloomberg beefed up his campaign advertising with fake public schoolkids and a fake precinct, thanked his friends in the Independence Party with a quarter of a million dollars, and asked the Gov to arrest state senators.

Our delightful state senators gave Hiram Monserrate back his chairmanship and money! But they dithered on mayoral control of schools. Still, they did find time to dole out $85 million in member items. Enjoy your summer, suckers!

In other state political news, Donald Trump took aim at Richard Ravitch (who still isn’t quite Lieutenant Governor), and lost a defamation case. Ha ha, you short-fingered vulgarian!

Bill Thompson predicted we’d have a 9.5 percent unemployment rate by year’s end — but surprise! It’s already up to 9.3 percent. Andrew Cuomo kicked the ass of David Paterson and a plastic surgeon. Tony Avella revealed his sparse campaign finances.

Councilmember Miguel Martinez resigned and pleaded out to some crimes.

We learned more medical excuses for drinking and taking drugs.

Studies in Crap: Soviet Public Health Porn!

Graham Rayman thought it was odd that NYPD wanted to keep its own veterans from using their insignia. So did a lot of veterans.

Allen Barra considered the Yankees and thought they could/should get Roy Halladay. Mets fans said the Yankees were better than the Mets.

Someone Got Murdered: at 2 Rector Street, 200 West 131st Street, and 537 West 133rd Street in Manhattan, East Gun Hill Road and Allerton Avenue in the Bronx, 140 Moore Street, New Lots Avenue & Sheffield Avenue, East 15th Street and Avenue X, 876 58th Street, and 2470 Bedford Avenue in Brooklyn, 115 Avenue and 140 Street in Queens. Yes, that’s a lot.

Our rightblogger friends condemned President Obama‘s insufficient All-Star pitch and complicity in a racist video, Going Galt

Some guys in in Staten Island beat up a Nicaraguan they thought was a Mexican. Two of them have allegedly been caught.

We took a brave stand on flash mob dancing.

What comes after beatniks, hippies, and punks? Williamsburg bums.

That cleaning lady was found dead. A girl fell down a manhole while texting and sparked controversy. Coney Island remained under the gun. Dr. Regina Benjamin got nominated to Surgeon General. Fraudster-lawyer Marc Dreier got 20 years. The hippies in Hair blew off a show. A kitten-roaster got prison — but was she the actual kitten-roaster?

George Mitchell got involved in an international bribery trial.

Reverend Billy picnicked and talked to the Voice.

Robert De Niro got scammed. A twitterer got beat up by twitterers for twittering. The Starbucks bomber turns out to be a Fight Club fan! Captain Morgan wept bitter tears. Emmy loved The Family Guy. Tony snubbed the critics. West Nile Virus was discovered in the Bronx. Jesus killed Madonna‘s stagehands.

Saturday’s Siren, see ya there!