The Sotomayor hearings commenced with protesters. Chuck Schumer did his bit. Lindsey Graham copped out, or so the rightwingers said — so he hassled Sonia on her temperament. Jeff Sessions tried to get cute. A rightwing Representative and a “flaming liberal” discussed the case amicably. Finally the Republicans all said their were “troubled,” the New Yorkers at the scene all said she was a peach, and that was that till the inevitable confirmation.
Mayor Bloomberg beefed up his campaign advertising with fake public schoolkids and a fake precinct, thanked his friends in the Independence Party with a quarter of a million dollars, and asked the Gov to arrest state senators.
Our delightful state senators gave Hiram Monserrate back his chairmanship and money! But they dithered on mayoral control of schools. Still, they did find time to dole out $85 million in member items. Enjoy your summer, suckers!
Bill Thompson predicted we’d have a 9.5 percent unemployment rate by year’s end — but surprise! It’s already up to 9.3 percent. Andrew Cuomo kicked the ass of David Paterson and a plastic surgeon. Tony Avella revealed his sparse campaign finances.
We learned more medical excuses for drinking and taking drugs.
Studies in Crap: Soviet Public Health Porn!
Someone Got Murdered: at 2 Rector Street, 200 West 131st Street, and 537 West 133rd Street in Manhattan, East Gun Hill Road and Allerton Avenue in the Bronx, 140 Moore Street, New Lots Avenue & Sheffield Avenue, East 15th Street and Avenue X, 876 58th Street, and 2470 Bedford Avenue in Brooklyn, 115 Avenue and 140 Street in Queens. Yes, that’s a lot.
We took a brave stand on flash mob dancing.
What comes after beatniks, hippies, and punks? Williamsburg bums.
That cleaning lady was found dead. A girl fell down a manhole while texting and sparked controversy. Coney Island remained under the gun. Dr. Regina Benjamin got nominated to Surgeon General. Fraudster-lawyer Marc Dreier got 20 years. The hippies in Hair blew off a show. A kitten-roaster got prison — but was she the actual kitten-roaster?
George Mitchell got involved in an international bribery trial.
Robert De Niro got scammed. A twitterer got beat up by twitterers for twittering. The Starbucks bomber turns out to be a Fight Club fan! Captain Morgan wept bitter tears. Emmy loved The Family Guy. Tony snubbed the critics. West Nile Virus was discovered in the Bronx. Jesus killed Madonna‘s stagehands.
Saturday’s Siren, see ya there!
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on July 17, 2009