Here’s a new way a high-roller with a Madonna fetish can spend his or her money: some guy who used to date Madonna is auctioning off her phone messages to him, among other stuff. At the Rock and Roll Pop Art Auction, commencing Monday, you can obtain “two original microcassettes from Jim Albright’s answering machine” which contain messages left by Madge to Albright, a bodyguard who became her lover. Bidding starts at $25,000. No transcript of the tapes is offered, so it might just be 17 minutes of “Hi, call me.”
But there’s a bonus — erotic faxes!
In these, we are promised, Madonna “uses the code name ‘Lola Montez’… and sometimes refers to Albright as ‘Ceasar,’ ‘J,’ ‘James,’ ‘Booty Man’ (calling herself ‘Lil Booty’) and even in one letter writing, ‘Happy Thanksgiving Sambo.'” Bidding starts at $2,000. There’s also a “Madonna Personal ‘Home’ Video” “with the typed title ‘1 SNAKE EYES WIFE SWAP FOOTAGE,'” though if that shit isn’t on BitTorrent already we’d be surprised. Nonetheless, $10,000 if you want in.