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It turns out it’s not Madonna who has healing powers, despite having given birth to Lourdes. It’s Britney, bitch! Proof of that is a BBC documentary called Britney Spears Saved My Life, and you’ll simply have to believe me on that since I haven’t lied to you that often before.
According to this Newsweek piece about the documentary, it includes an 18-year-old who embraced his gay sexuality thanks to the navel-bearing superstar. (Maybe looking at her without hair and having a public meltdown made him say, “You know what? It’s men that are attractive.”) It also covers a 15-year-old girl who overcame her eating disorder thanks to Brit. (Perhaps she saw the debilitating effects of Spam, Ho-Hos, and Chuck E. Cheese, and went organic instead.)
But seriously, folks, Britney has had an uplifting effect on the youth of the world, and even on some old-timers. She sure perked up my press portfolio last week because I’m quoted in the article!