Years ago, a friend gushed to me that he’d found a new boyfriend who was the most amazing specimen in Christendom. “He’s gorgeous,” my friend enthused. “A real Italian stallion, with a hot bod, a stunning face, and an amazing ass. A total stud all the way!” Well, I finally met the guy with my tongue preparing to drop to the ground and found that he was…below average! Not even in the normal range! Almost gross, actually! “Amazing,” I said to my friend.
I didn’t want to hurt my pal’s feelings by giving up my true reaction, and besides, if HE was in wanton lust with this person, who was I to step in and sour it?
But what if the issue goes beyond epidermis level? What if they gush to you about a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and what an amazing person they are, and you sense that they’re actually scummy, shady people who are unworthy of such paroxysms of love? Do you pipe up and risk ruining your friendship by blurting out the awful truth? Or do you just smile and prepare a toast for the wedding party?
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on July 27, 2009