The 9 Beers Obama Should NOT Serve at the Gates-Sgt. Crowley Meeting


Certainly, the headline of the day is ABC News’ “What Beer Will Obama Choose for White House Meeting?” This refers to the beer the President is scheduled to have with Professor Henry Louis Gates and the man who arrested him, Sergeant James Crowley of the Cambridge PD. Scott Mayerowitz’ article exhaustively considers the politics of the brew pick, including the reflection that MillerCoors, makers of press secretary Robert Gibbs’ favorite, Blue Moon, is made by “a longtime supporter of the Republican Party.”

As regular readers will have learned, we know nothing about politics. But we have determined nine beers which, for reasons that will be obvious, should not be served at the President’s meeting:

Copper’s Ale.
Spotted Pig Bitter.
Modelo Negro.
Xingu Black Beer.
Mickey’s Big Mouth (or any malt liquor, and certainly not in 40-ounce bottles).
Black’s Beach Extra Dark.
Arrogant Bastard Ale.
Redneck Beer (original, or Kid Rock variety).
Rebellion White.

Update: We learn that Gates is “half-Irish,” in fact distantly related to Crowley. As they’re both Hibernians, we can now safely say that it doesn’t matter what beer Obama serves them, as long as there’s plenty of it.