News & Politics

Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


Twitpic by ethanvk.

Well, our week was awful, but apparently we were in good company.

Mayor Bloomberg came up with a wide-ranging, expensive transit plan including crosstown buses that would move slower than ever. He slapped back Bill Thompson‘s schools charges — not convincingly to Wayne Barrett‘s eyes. He talked himself into a deposition. Then Simcha Felder ratted out his bogus appropriations. Now Thompson really had something to yell about! But s’okay, Albany’s giving Bloomberg mayoral control of the schools back, and he’s still rich, bitch.

Governor Paterson went to the racetrack. Former Gov Eliot Spitzer had his fundraiser cancelled.

The Broadway Triangle rezoning got tempers flaring. Rend Smith explores the mysteries of the nailed-up cow tongues of Prospect Park. Willets Point was promised sewers. That lady who crashed on the Taconic was drunk and high. A guy jumped off the Brooklyn Bridge.

Birthers were a little fun, in their “it’s not a certificate it’s a certification, why do you not acknowledge my argument?” way. The Obama Socialist Joker poster came on strong, but soon grew tedious. Their Town Hall Putsch promises some laughs, though.

The Voice got a Google archive!

The Pittsburgh health club killer turned out to be a blogger, a YouTuber, and an attender of dating workshops. Oh, and he worked in IT.

Someone Got Murdered: 435 East 65th Street in Manhattan, 426 West 27th Street, at Rosewood Street and Barker Avenue and 2641 Marion Avenue in The Bronx, 2960 West 31st Street in Brooklyn.

That’s pronounced “JUS-tice So-to-may-OR.”

Plaxico Burress was indicted. (Tom Robbins wondered why Bloomberg didn’t get as mad at Vito Fossella as he was at Plax.) John Gotti Jr. got indicted too. USA Today got a Big Black Cock. Dancing mania broke out. Melissa Weber pleaded guilty to sex with a student. Tom Cruise gave us more fun with Scientology! A little museum got robbed. Rupert Murdoch wants you to pay for the New York Post online.

Studies in Crap was a weird one: The Adventures of Shoney’s Big Boy.

Bill Clinton freed those girls from Korea; wingnuts wept. A crazy man pretended to have a bomb at LaGuardia. RadioShack became “The Shack.” Tiger Woods farted. Intellectuals put on a Horror Show. Gay-straighteners got a kick in the ass from the APA. Oliver Koppell lost an endorsement. Kirsten Gillibrand shook off Carolyn Maloney.

R.I.P. Sidney Zion, Olga Mendez, John Hughes, Budd Schulberg, Willy DeVille, and this week.

This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on August 7, 2009

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