What the Hell Is the “Hello Cow” Song?


In the seedy underbelly of the internet that is Google’s Hot Trends–“Vanessa Hudgens pictures leaked” (leaked?), “steven tyler dead,” “lady gaga hermaphrodite picture,” etc.–now comes “Hello Cow,” a song that’s been tearing up Google’s charts all day, despite no real identifiable information about why America cares about this terrible song? It has something to do with Fox News and Bill Hemmer and Megyn Kelly and their program America’s Newsroom, which I guess just did a feature on dairy cows sleeping on waterbeds? Truly our nation is in a dark place. “Have we humans tried this by the way?” Cow’s milk: more delicious when the cow is relaxed. Have they tried lava lamps? No. Fox News, leave America’s dairy farmers alone! Wait, what?

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