Another onetime chart-topper, like an Olivia Newton-John or a Deborah Gibson?
One of the contestants from RuPaul’s Drag Race, done up as Paula, but with better waxing?
Phil Spector or O.J. Simpson via satellite from cell block 9?
Or just leave the seat empty and hope no one notices?
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on August 7, 2009