New York

Astrology Is For Idiots

by

I’m always horrified when, in this day and age, a seemingly intelligent adult interjects into a perfectly sane conversation something like, “What sign are you?” or “Let me guess–Gemini?”

Does anyone not on serious drugs still believe this hippie-dippie shit? I’m all for reading horoscopes if you so feel like it, because they can be ditzily entertaining (and they always seem to say a friend will betray you–and one always does!)

But if you take that subject seriously–i.e., if you really think someone’s birthdate impacted what they’re like because of a certain alignment of the stars–then you’re definitely a big, old…Taurus with moron rising!

Stick to more concrete topics, like whether God will punish me for being a sodomite.