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I don’t believe that one should devote his life to morbid self-attention, I believe that one should become a person like other people — whoops, sorry, wrong diary. Our week was much worse.
DC37 went for Bill Thompson. But what did Mayor Bloomberg care — he had Twitter! (Wayne Barrett gave him hell, but that was over 140 words — who reads that much anymore?) And Bloomberg got more money for the Staten Island Ferry, scene of one of his administration’s worst debacles. No wonder he was feeling generous toward the Segways today.
In Albany, Governor Paterson announced, then rescinded, a special election. Meanwhile state prisoners got unemployment insurance, Pedro Espada‘s son had to give back his fake job, and a litigant claimed Paterson was having an affair. Another uplifting week in our state capital!
Hillary Clinton got pissed! I’m running this show, she told a sexist questioner. Afterward the press was all “mrrrow” and “hisss.” Her husband Bill offered his Harlem neighbors advice instead of money, and his gay fans excuses.
Health care town brawls continued to the applause of rightbloggers. Jim Morrison and the Joker were enlisted. George Soros cleverly covered for his Obamacare advocacy by giving millions to schoolchildren. President Obama ran his own damn health care meeting which, thanks to help of planted Democratic children, was quiet; Anthony Weiner ran his own, but they were less quiet. Staten Island also felt the rage.
Then it was on to the real outrage: Obama’s Medal of Freedom recipients.
Somebody Got Murdered: 676 Castle Hill Avenue in The Bronx.
Cuba is running out of TP!
New York got another title — the Busted-for-Weed Capital of the World.
There was a copter crash over the Hudson. The MTA promised raises to workers. An accused rooftop dog-thrower was indicted. A surprise benefactress was maligned as a bag lady — but the truth came out. A Pratt student was beaten into a coma — one arrest was made. A swine flu victim’s family sued the city.
Ashley Greene was nude, Miley Cyrus worked the pole.
We scooped the world with an excerpt from David Mamet‘s The Diary of Anne Frank.
Studies in Crap has a special one-year anniversary edition.
Red Hook got a Stumptown roastery. NY-23 got all its Congressional candidates. The waterfront got ratted out. Morningside Heights suffered a snake attack. 34th Street got bus timers. The Rockaways lost another swimmer. A Harlem shopkeeper took out some thieves. The 3 train got a masturbator — a suspect was arrested.
R.I.P. Les Paul and this week.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on August 14, 2009