News & Politics

Michelle Obama’s Shorts: A Final Reckoning


We have to admit. we were disappointed that the shorts Michelle Obama wore to the Grand Canyon — which have burned up the non-partisan idiot press — have yet to roil the usually roilable rightbloggers, despite the involvement of an Obama.

There were a few takers. These affected sympathy, but as usual couldn’t hold the pose long. “There are rules about wearing shorts,” humphed American Princess, “but worn incorrectly and you have yourself a giant ass.” “Now, don’t get me wrong,” said Conservative Moms, “I understand the need for comfort and wore plenty of VERY short shorts in high school and college…” but “I think she needs to accept the fact that she is in her 40’s…” and then they show a picture of her giant ass…

Maybe the meme caught them by surprise, and they were still busy circulating the story, spread by email from old white lady to old white lady, that Michelle Obama has twenty-six attendants, “including a hair dresser and make-up artist,” whereas Laura Bush made do with the Renee Zellweger character from Cold Mountain and a little girl to hold her cigarettes. The Free Republic version of this story, which must be considered definitive, claims “the discovery of the additional attendants was made by D’Angelo Gore of,” though the only page that fits this description we could find indicates that Mrs. Obama and Mrs. Bush had roughly equivalent budgets.

(It should be noted that some of the Freepers at that post get into the Michelle shorts, too: “She’s packing a bulge in her shorts coming down those steps. Looks like a jock strap,” etc.)

In general, though, this shorts thing seems a non-starter, and the “fake outrage” Newsweek noticed has been easily dispelled by genuinely sympathetic and informed observers — such as The Art of the Female Backside. The shorts “are fair more conserative than your old school daisy dukes,” says TAOTFB. “She has an amazing body…” The site’s previous considerations of the theme, “Obama definitely a real brother!!! He likes his humps” and Girls shakin ass and nuttin but ass” speak to their authority.



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