New York

Fallen Trees in Central Park are a Warning: Chop Them Before They Conk Us


We warned you and we warned you and we warned you and we warned you and we warned you about the trees. But did anyone listen? Now, just weeks after a Google employee was bashed into a coma by a falling oak limb in Central Park, Wednesday night’s storm left the Park littered with fallen trees and branches. Now picture a sudden storm on a pleasant summer afternoon with lots of people under those trees.

It’s bad enough no one heeds our warning the animals are trying to kill us — the more present arboreal danger is also being ignored. If you won’t attend us, attend Oveous Maximus in the video above (“These are like trees that are like in the floor and shit”). Has the Parks Department no chainsaws, nor personnel who can spot suspicious timber? Mow the lawns less often if you have to, but stop these things before they come for the rest of us.


Archive Highlights