Obama Golfs; Local Tabs Take Sides


President Obama remains on vacation, and local tabloids have hurried to us dispatches from his morning golf game on Martha’s Vineyard. “OBAMA SHOWS OFF POOR GOLF SKILLS AT MARTHA’S VINEYARD,” cries the Post. Apparently Obama scored a triple bogey on the second hole of a local course. Maybe the press presence was getting to him — he had mildly complained of this during a golf game in Hawaii back in December, and reporters seem to be even further up his ass now.

The Daily News, caddying for the President just like always, found the bright side: “‘Look at that — no mulligan,’ one woman exclaimed after Obama — said to be a stickler for the rules — declined to take a do-over.” So he’s incompetent but moral, like Jimmy Carter!

Not so fast — “Play on the green of the ninth hole was visible to the press corps,” reports the Washington Post. “The president putted once, coming close to the hole befiore he picked up his ball, one eyewitness said.” So he does cheat, just like that bastard Clinton! The News also found a gold pro to praise the President’s “naturally athletic golf swing, very well-coordinated.” But they let slip the news that the President’s foursome declined to reveal the game’s final score. FOIL requested are being submitted as we speak.


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