Ever get the urge to call an ex and hook up again–just for friendship this time? After all, you obviously felt comfortable together at SOME point. You knew each other intimately and struck up a bond–at least until it dissolved into rage and bitterness. And by now, you’ve forgotten what the problems were and can simply rekindle your mutual affection in a casual, enjoyable manner, without sex getting in the way and messing things up.
Well, as long as I’m thinking out loud here, let me just say that while that all sounds good on paper, there are some serious flaws to this scenario:
*Generally, you CAN’T forget what caused the rift. Each of you will still be blaming the other for wrecking the relationship.
*Friends always talk to each other about their love lives, and the last thing you’ll want to hear is who your ex is dating or fucking or in lust with. So sex DOES still get in the way.
*How can you keep punishing him/her if you let them back into your life?
Nah, don’t call your ex for friendship, folks. Stay angry–and stay away!
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on August 27, 2009