Cheek, in Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


Twitpic via Just_Alison.

This better be a good enough holiday weekend to wash this week out of our skulls.

Mayor Bloomberg‘s Department of Health warned us, grossly, not to drink ourselves fat. A grateful Billie Jean King endorsed him. His opponent Bill Thompson got in hot water, ha ha ha, and few heard his noble defense of subway station agents or noticed his Amsterdam News endorsement. Bloomberg continued to beat on People of the Gun, especially the drunk ones. Now only Q-Tip stands in the way of a third term!

The word went out that Eliot Spitzer wanted to go again. Amazingly, this became a Thing. We ran down the Bill Clinton angle. Spitzer donated back his teaching salary, but did that end the issue? No: Ashley Dupre weighed in, leading to a final catfight.

Crap! How To Be a Business Superhero.

The internet turned 40, sort of.

The Manhattan D.A. candidates debated Plaxico Burress. Melinda Katz grabbed the lead in the comptroller’s race, but now she’s in a threeway. Rudolph Giuliani worked the GOP apparatus, in part by stumping for Texas’ secessionist governor. Council candidate Eduardo Giraldo warned his fellow Latinos about bad non-Latino blood. Other city council candidates accused each other of bringing racism of their own. Assemblyman Hakeem Jeffries proposed the city give condos to the poor. The Campaign Finance Board handed out money. A Pedro Espada Odyssey was revisited. Charles Barron was mad that Bill de Blasio‘s black wife was on a campaign flyer. A public official called public advocate candidate Alex Zablocki a jerk.

Rightbloggers worked the Ted Kennedy funeral for nuggets of outrage. The best they could do was Michelle Obama momentarily closing her eyes. So they tried new lyrics to “New York, New York.” Van Jones called them assholes, redoubling their fury (though they may be getting the last laugh there). Violence ensued, a finger was bitten off. The last straw: Demi Moore’s fascist video!

Swine Flu PANIC made a comeback! We were told 10 percent of New Yorkers caught it this year. A hospital boss complained about preparedness. The city responded with free flu shots for kids and Sesame Street. Supporters of paid sick leave jumped on the issue.

Someone Got Murdered: At 3720 Third Avenue in The Bronx, outside the Bushwick Houses in Brooklyn, and 317 Bowery in Manhattan. There was news in the Sunset Park double homicide. Body parts were found on a sidewalk.

Keith Olbermann had the Voice‘s own Michael Musto and Dan Savage on his show. We brought Tom Tomorrow back on the Voice.

The Mets were down to stems and seeds, player-wise. Phillies fans insulted them with a shirt. To make things worse, Jerry Koosman went to jail. Meanwhile Anthony Weiner got MLB to reschedule a Yankees game for Yom Kippur.

Michael Jackson got a birthday party in Prospect Park. A blogger was beaten in Bushwick. In Staten Island a woman got knocked out in Western Beef, and sued. An anti-Mexican gang terrorized the West Bronx. Coney got Dreamland back and an elephant-washing scandal.

Gay marriage got a celebrity nude!

A cycling reporter seemed to lose her bike. An old lady was busted for weed.

Enjoy the long weekend.