You obviously have a computer–or at least access to one–because you’re reading this, and I thank you for that. But I will adore you even more if that’s all you have! In other words, I’ll perversely admire you if you’re as defiantly archaic as I am and you never bothered to amass a host of technological advances just because people who drank the Kool-Aid insist you have to.
You will get big points with me if you simply don’t give a fuck about being expensively au courant and never once bothered to:
*Have a Facebook page
*Or a MySpace one
*Have an iPhone
*Have an iPod
*Have a blackberry
*Belong to NetFlix
*Have premium cable channels
*Have any cable channels
*Have a TV
*Have an apartment
So tell me, kids. What don’t you have? Be specific! Make mama proud!