I can never decide whether I love or hate the west coast games, but I think I’m leaning towards the latter. Six hours in a plane, and then playing Minesweeper Baseball. Nothing makes sense out there, and you gotta pay attention to what you’re doing or before you know it, you’re getting blown up by some team that clinched an early season exit sometime in July.
Oh yeah. And King Felix (15-5, 2.52) is pitching and conveniently enough has decided that Cy Young award doesn’t sound too bad, and why not be unhittable for the rest of the season? His ERA in 3 starts in September looks less like an ERA and more like target win percentage the Nats are aiming for next year. Numbers like 0.41 don’t exist anymore. Maybe in bank account statements. But not in the line scores of a team with less personality than a binder clip.
The Yanks are 7 up on the Sux, and got 6.5 on the Halos. And I refuse to assign any playoff matchup preferences to any contender, ever since 2006 when I was skipping up and down Second Avenue when Detroit was determined to be the ALDS opponent. That worked out well. That said, I’m just gonna go with the old stand by of rooting for the Sux to lose.
We haven’t lost a road game series since the beginning of August (I’m not sure how telling this is since August was basically a dream sequence for Yankee fans. Did they lose any games that month? I blacked out from the domination ether.)
But the biggest issue, (“you know WHO big” to steal a line from CC’s incomprehensible Subway spot), is A.J. Burnett (11-9, 4.33). “And Yankee fans have GOTTA be worried about this guy in the playoffs” has been uttered by more sports talking heads than “and you never want to walk the first batter.”
I’m not worried about A.J. He’s too legit to not bounce back. I’ll throw Joba under the bus every day of the week and twice on Sunday, but for some reason, I always like seeing Pierced Nipples on the mound. I also love how he’s constantly growling/toting more ink than Staples/always moments away from transforming into a psychopath…and yet honors this Saved By the Bell-like gag of whipped cream pies like it’s a church doctrine.
AJ’s 6-6 with a 5.12 ERA on the road, and not much better anywhere else. Lost 7-3 to Baltimore. (Check. Just threw up in my mouth.) 1-5 with a 6.14 ERA since August 1. (And now I just chewed off my own tongue.)
Posada’s still suspended from school, which puts Molina back in the mix. I don’t even pay attention to him, because, well, why would you. (Which means now, of course, he’ll go 3-4 with a HR and double.) AJ needs this win, or he’ll usurp Kanye in the Double Dare-like game of Spitting Enough Vitriol at Public Enemy. (It’s gotta go above the red line.)
If AJ wins, he’ll only postpone critics’ ire til his next start, because that’s how it works with haters. I hope he gives Patrick Bateman a run for his money tonight. But does so without getting anyone suspended or mauled.
Tee off on Felix tonight, Yanks. If nothing else, to avenge that 14 inning heart breaker that may have triggered the nascent stages of my alarmism that basically enveloped the rest of the summer. Yeah, go for the jugular tonight.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on September 18, 2009