Bowling Ball Payola Scandal!


And I’m the middle of it!

Let me explain: For years, my footsies have been a fucked up shape that doesn’t match any shoe in tarnation, even those that are expensively custom made for me. I feel like a fat, old Cinderella, doomed to clean the fireplace all day.

For a long time, I’ve been running around in absurd looking flip flops and K Mart slippers, the only semi-comfortable items I’ve found, but I may have finally stumbled upon some real footwear. Kind of.

See, I was at Lucky Strike Lanes on Tuesday night for Lee Chappell‘s Gutterball party when the managers brought over some size 17 bowling shoes to try on. They were like tugboats and they sort of almost fit! And I could even see wearing them in real life, not just when running down a lane and throwing a wicked ball at some defenseless white objects.

So I asked if I could buy the shoes from them. They insisted I simply keep them. Aware that this could be a gigantic scandal, I wanted to come clean about it, while making it clear that I wrote about this place way back when it opened and I’m not giving them any favoritism because of this. (And I’ve been covering Chappell’s events since the beginning of Christendom. Remember the Roxy?)

But I mainly wanted to lay all this on the table so if you see me at an event in black tie and blue and red striped bowling shoes, you won’t have a heart attack.