So Disney has put the kibbosh on David Mamet‘s adaptation of the Anne Frank story–too dark, supposedly, and not enough focus on Anne–but that didn’t stop one commenter on the Broadway Board “All That Chat” from imagining what the potty mouthed playwright could have done with the tale of the pint sized Carrie Bradshaw hiding from the Nazis.
Here’s the hilarious bit of would-be sacrilege they came up with:
Anne: F* you!!
Father: Annie, sweet child, I know you’re frightened but keep your voice low.
Anne: Who the F* do you think you are to tell me what to do? Because you wear, what? trousers!, you think you can, how do you say it, beat the female down?! Well beat THIS daddy.
Father: Anne, silence, I can hear the jackboots on the stair!
Anne: F* they are! You don’t know jack about jackboots!
(A loud pounding on the attic door.)
Shut your A-hole out there! Who the F* do you think died and made you Adolf?
(Kicking at the door.)
You think I’m scared of, what, what? Some nancy Nazi effin feet flouncing at the door jam? Come over the transom if you have the, the, the, what, the kraut balls to do so. And then kiss my sweet heinie, you heinzie M* F* ers!!!!