Sometimes when I go out on Sunday to drink in the blissful marathon of NFL games, I feel a little guilty. Technically it is a “school night,” so no matter how much I’m enjoying myself, there’s always the self-imposed reins of responsibility (that are applied to varying degrees, but semantics.)
Miguel Cabrera evidently is either not familiar with this concept or considers playoff race to be on par with a pick-up softball game in Central Park. Amid all his ill-times 0-fers, he’s been contributing to the Tigers’ apparent campaign to avoid the postseason at any and all costs.
BIRMINGHAM, Mich. — Detroit Tigers slugger Miguel Cabrera was drunk — three times above Michigan’s legal limit for driving, according to police — between two key games over the weekend as his team was trying to win the American League Central title.
The 26-year-old Venezuelan first baseman was taken to a police station Saturday after arriving at his suburban Detroit home at 5 a.m. and getting into a fight with his wife, Birmingham Police Chief Richard Patterson said.
Cabrera went 0-for-4 and stranded six runners in a 5-1 loss to Chicago on Saturday night, a game that started about 12 hours after Tigers general manager Dave Dombrowski picked him up at the station.
On Friday night, Cabrera had gone 0-for-4 and left four runners on base in an 8-0 loss to the White Sox. Cabrera went hitless in three at-bats on Sunday, a 5-3 Tigers win.
The account goes on to note that Cabrera also was involved in an incident at the Townsend Hotel, a spot frequented by athletes and other sports professionals. It avers that Cabrera “got into an argument with a young man, telling him he was ‘overweight and needed to work out.'”
I’m sorry, but that part is kind of funny. The idea of a baseball player being all cool and tough at a bar, and using playground retorts to comprise his vicious rhetoric: “Yeah, well, you’re fat!”
What’s even more ridiculous is the fact someone called the cops on him for this. No bar brawl. No physical violence. Someone took offense to this and called the police.
And they actually investigated? It sounds like the punch line of some “fat police” joke.
Off the head, initial reaction etc etc…seems there’s better uses of the Detroit PD’s time?
That’d be like if my boss asked me to put a report together and a month later, he asked why it was taking me so long, and I said because I was still testing out fonts.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on October 6, 2009