The worst thing you can tell a friend is “Please don’t sleep with [so and so]. I like him and it would really hurt my feelings.”
This kind of admonishment tends to backfire, especially in the cutthroat gay-bar world. Telling a party pal that a person is off limits will only make that person extra desirable! It will put the demon seed in the head of your friend, who will surely mutter, “Hmm. I never thought of [so and so] sexually before, but sudddenly it seems extremely appealing. If HE’S so into him, the guy MUST be someone worth mounting–pronto!”
They will assuredly hook up, especially since, after a few drinks, your friend will only remember something about “so and so” and “sex,” forgetting that it was a “Please don’t” kind of proposition.
So just shut your trap and let it play out in the sharkpool, hoping that you never find out what might hurt you.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on October 7, 2009