Enjoy Your Non-Holiday Holiday


Today is Columbus Day. Alternate side of the street parking is suspended; schools, city government offices, and courts are closed; mail delivery is suspended. Some banks may be open. So, probably, is the place where you work, as Columbus Day has become, in our work-or-die era, something like an optional holiday for those of us not on the government teat.

And actually, in 22 states even gov workers don’t get it off either. If Obama really wants to make this country socialist, he could start by making the bosses give us all federal holidays off, and then make up some new ones, like Woodstock Day and Joanne Chesimard’s Birthday.

The Columbus Day Parade, featuring lunar astronaut Buzz Aldrin — sort of a modern-day Columbus, except there were no people on the moon to rape, pillage, and infect with smallpox — marches from 44th Street to 79th Street on Fifth Avenue.