After our initial review of GOP.com, when we saw a six-to-one people-of-color to people-of-whiteness ratio in nav bar portraits, we decided to duplicate the experiment and came up with a discordant result: Now the GOP is the Party of Women! Their Heroes still don’t, for the most part, appear on no stamps. And Michael Steele no longer walks into our lives, which we’re going to miss…
We also took time to browse the Republican Beliefs page, where the headlines are aphorisms: “Our Armed Forces defend and protect our democracy,” “Helping those around you is worthwhile,” “You can be what you are, and become what you are capable of becoming,” “We’re fortunate to live in America.” Sonuvagun — we’re Republicans!
On the “Achievements” page, we learn that “A Republican Wrote the Brown v. Board of Education decision” (conservative hero Earl Warren), “First African-American Senator,” “First Asian-American U.S. Senator,” “First Hispanic U.S. Senator,” Republicans Outlawed the Ku Klux Klan,” etc. All this and lower taxes! It’s a marvel they lost that last election.
Clearly we’ve had these fellows all wrong. It looks like Olympia Snowe has nothing to worry about. Rockefeller Republicans, you can come out now — at least in the Second Life version of the GOP.