Our boss hates this kind of thing so thank God the Times has stepped up and given the ballot candidates for Mayor who are not Bloomberg and Thompson thumbnail sketches and 30-second sound clips with which to make their pitch. Here’s the gist, further reduced for your ADD pleasure and in order of appearance:
Francisca Villar, Party for Socialism and Liberation: “I’m gonna make sure the priorities of poor and working people are put first, and the banks and the corporations at the back if the line.” Reverend Billy Talen, Green Party: “New York — is it a corporation or a city? Are we consumers or are we citizens?” Jimmy McMillan, Rent is Too Damn High Party: “This is our party, this is our time!/The Rent is Too Damn High Party gonna shine!” Daniel B. Fein, Socialist Workers Party: “Working people must make a revolution and take political power out of the hands of the ruling capitalist class and reoganize society…” Tyrrell L. Eiland (pictured), New Voice Party: “No man is an Island but Tyrell Eiland.” Joseph L. Dobrian, Libertarian Party: “I will stay out of your face and out of your pocket.” Stephen A. Christopher, Conservative Party: “As your mayor I support the rights of the unborn child in any way possible.”
Your democratic duty is now done, except for the voting part. For extra credit you could watch the mayoral debate tonight between Tweedledee and Tweedledum, but why bother? Tweedledum can’t win, either.