What Does Your Choice of Dog Say About How Good You Are In Bed?


Curb Your Enthusiasm‘s funny Susie Essman had the answer in a performance she gave at a benefit for ChairScholars Foundation the other night (though she was specifically talking about straight guys; Yes, I do cover the other side once in a while).

Susie said that if you have a terrier, you’re most certainly a premature ejaculator.

A dachsund? “That’s a no-brainer,” she cracked. “It’s a hot dog.”

A boxer? “You’re needy.”

A mutt? “Abandonment issues.”

A toy poodle or a shih tzu? “You’re a keeper! If you’re secure enough in your sexuality to carry around a faggy little dog like that, you’re good in bed.”

And finally, what if you have a cocker spaniel? “You’re a lesbian!”