Crazy Yankee Chick: Andy Pettitte’s Pulchritude…and a look at Game 3 of the ALCS


When you live by yourself, you can go hours without speaking. You don’t realize it, but then sometimes you wake up on a Sunday after a baseball game and call your parents at noon only to discover you lost your voice.

Actually, “lost” isn’t the right word. I know exactly where I left it…somewhere in the left field second tier of Yankee Stadium.

Game 3 of the ALCS is Monday at 4:13, so I’m figuring that it’s a blessing in disguise that my voice is taking a personal day or 2. Because a day game means following the action at work. A day game means screaming and otherwise strident activity is prohibited.

(Unless I want to remove any lingering doubts about my emotional stability in the fall…)

After taking the first 2 of a 7-game series, the Yankees head out to Anaheim to face the Angels (who, for the record, are NOT in a must-win situation. Yet.) Saturday night’s circus match-up left both teams exhausted, drained, and sluggish (which I think may have had something to do with the obscene number of errors put up.)

But it was the Yankees whose resource-depletion wasn’t all for naught. Between both teams, 13 pitchers were used and 432 pitches thrown. I don’t want to think about what would have happened if the game had to go another inning or two thus necessitating the need call upon our absolute final bullpen option, Chad Gaudin.

Let’s hope the day and half of rest is enough for them to back up Andy Pettitte (14-8, 4.16) when he goes up against Jered Weaver (16-8, 3.75). I can’t preview an Andy start without dedicating it to “WTCYC”…and of course, without mentioning that a win would set a record for pitcher with most postseason wins (16).

Andy P.

It was many and many a year ago,
In a borough by NYC,
There lived a pitcher who you may know,
By the name of Andy P.
And this pitcher he lived with no other thought,
Than to play for the team the Yankees.

He was a child and I was a child,
In this borough by NYC,
But he pitched with a fire that was hard to ignore,
The Yankees and Andy P.
With a spark that the bitter AL contenders,
Coveted our Andy P.

And this was the reason that long ago,
In this borough by NYC,
The Houston Astros stole him from us,
Our beautiful Andy P.
So that his southern kinsmen came,
And bore him away from me.
To shut him up in a NL club,
Far from the borough by NYC.

The agents, not half so happy with Yankees,
Went envying his pulchritude,
Yes! That was the reason (as all fans know,
In this borough by NYC),
That the Houston Astros came out of the south,
Wheeling and dealing our Andy P.

But our bond, it was stronger by far than the bond,
Of one on Houston’s team,
Of one with Clemens’ team.
And neither the roots in Texas’s earth,
Or the pull of free agent trade,
Could ever dissever our boy from the Bronx,
Our beautiful Andy P.

For Frank never sings, without reminding us of rings,
Of the beautiful Andy P.
And his dynasty days, are coming back into play,
Our beautiful Andy P.
All his postseason nights, he continues to fight,
Our starter–Yanks’ starter–an ace and our light.
In the home by NYC,
In the stadium near NYC…

Somewhere, Poe is rolling over in his grave right now. The ultimate indignity–a Boston native having his art spliced up into a Yankee ode. (Although, this guy probably has it worse…)

Hopefully our boy can continue the Yanks’ postseason run on Monday. If nothing else, the weather conditions should a be a bit more comfortable. (I wonder if they would rather play in perfect weather on the road or freezing torrential downpour at home? I’m guessing the latter, but if someone asked me the same question, I’d rather watch the game from the bad guys’ house. But then again, this could be the voiceless-achy-sore-quasi-sick-thanks-to-freezing-rain-for-3-innings part of me talking.)

The Yanks have a good chance to go up 3-0 depending on how well their pitching holds up. If Pettitte can go deep into the game, Girardi can take advantage of the fact Joba and Hughes were only lightly applied to Saturday’s game. By the same token, the Yanks need to continue their erosion of Anaheim’s starters, chasing them early so they can feast on their pen.

Weaver is hit or miss on the mound, but it almost seems like he’s lately developed this aggressive assurance that makes him think he can attack batters with his 4-seamer. I’d love to see him “attack” the Yanks’ 0-9-line with his innocuous low 90’s heat.

The Angels’ line-up is only batting .158 in the ALCS to New York’s .288. Neither team has been particularly overpowering on offense, so this game may be the one where everyone resumes their true identity and bannishes these multi-error/hitless impostors. There’s no rain to blame it on.

But never underestimate Joe Buck and Tim McCarver. As far as they’re concerned, every ump call has been “blown,” with each one altering the outcome of the game. Also, the World According to T-Mac contends that:

“Something doesn’t look right with Mariano Rivera.”
“The threat of a steal is worse than the steal itself.”

Or my personal favorite, from Friday night’s play at first:

“Torii Hunter had the best view of it, and he was sure he was safe!”

I think T-Mac would be better served to point fingers at Vladimir “King of the Menacing Stare Down” Guerrero, who is 2-for-11 in the series, having left 10 runners on base in the two games, while striking out four times.

Or, you know, I guess we could stick with his airtight logic. We could also have high school students score their own SAT exams.

Time to go up 3-0, Yanks. A-Rod did his part to exile the choker broken record. Now would be a good opportunity to do the same for the 2004 ALCS headache.


Read 2009 Baseball Throwdown coverage for the New York Yankees, Los Angeles Dodgers, and Anaheim Angels.