Freaks Of The Industry III: Thursday’s CMJ Panels, Crassly Distilled


You haven’t seen a CMJ panel yet? You missed a lot yesterday. And the day before. Here’s today’s lineup, with unrequested editorial comment.

Career Choice Series: I Want To Make Music For A Living. “I want to live under a bridge.”

The Greening Of The Music Industry. Just recycle Neutral Milk Hotel’s shtick.

Music And The Digital Mobile Space. “So Soulja Boy, how have ringtones helped shape yourYAHHH TRICK YAHHH.

Career Choice Series: I Want To Start A Band In 2010. The year we make contact with a parole officer.

Life As A Modern Day Professional (Really Professional) Producer. [Adds reverb to Vivian Girls vocal track.] [Adds more reverb.] [Adds yet more reverb.] [Relocates studio to bottom of Grand Canyon.]

Music For Good. How to quit it.

Small Efficient Record Label – Big Results. Delay Kid Sister’s record for a full three years and win fabulous prizes.

Career Choice Series: I Want To Work In Music Marketing. “I want to plaster the bridge that band is living under with fliers.”

Fan Relationship Management: New Light On An Old Concept? If Gary Glitter is on this panel then get the hell out of there.

Rock Fashion Trends And Predictions For 2010 And Beyond. Skidz, my friends. Skidz.

Using Brands and Sports Properties To Help Build Your Career. If Gary Glitter is on this panel then get the hell out of there.

Across Cultures: Beats And Rhymes Worldwide. Oh shut up, Q-Tip.

Déjà Vu All Over Again. Verily, Yogi Berra will outlive the music industry.

Not Oil And Water: Connecting the Physical and Digital Music Product Relationship. Fanfarlo vinyl release to include Bangbros password.

The “Scenes” Of Some Cool Songwriting Cities. Two panelists have a $20 bet about whether they can trick some desperate folkie into moving to Bismarck, North Dakota.

Mentor Session: General Music Business. [Lights artist on fire.]

Mentor Session: Artist Management. [Extinguishes fire by urinating on artist.]

Mentor Session: Online Marketing. [Posts video on YouTube.]