So cool, yeah, you’re doing your best to hex the Phillies. You’re going to become a bar mitzvah DJ. Bono is your rock & roll role model. You have a workout routine, it involves Fergie. “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” and all that, you told the Huffington Post: “I really like that song. I would sing it really loud no matter where I was at in the gym, and I know a couple other guys were singing and they won’t say it, but I’m man enough to say that Fergie’s ‘Big Girls Don’t Cry,’ Crap! I would sing that in the gym.” How about I go to Amazon or wherever you buy videogames right now, and buy your videogame, Jay-Z. And in return, you put something else on the wall, down in Tribeca, and I go to my grave not knowing which arcade game you preferred, back in the ’80s. Oh, too late? It’s Stargate? Fuck you. Go Phillies.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on October 27, 2009