Let’s Cast The Miss Saigon Movie

So producer Paula Wagner is starting to prepare the inevitable movie of the Broadway smash Miss Saigon — the most popular bunch of wet Saigon noodles in history — and Precious director Lee Daniels reportedly might direct.

Does that mean he’ll cast Mo’Nique as the shy Vietnamese girl who turns prostie for the first time? Will she demand $100,000 for every languid arm gesture and pertly pursed lip?

No, let’s get real. There are some people they obviously should cast in these roles.

As the cute Sargeant: James Franco. Yes, he can play straight people once in a while.

As the sleazeball MC, the Engineer: Russell Brand. I want to shower just thinking about it.

And as Kim, the first-time prostie: I have no idea! Help! Who’s young, Asian, innocent, shady, and can sing?