McSweeney’s is running an essay called “It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers,” by Colin Nissan (although it reads like it could have been penned by David Chang). Hilarious:
I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes.
[Via Eat me Daily]