The Oscar Buzz Is Deafening


2009 is still in full swing, but I happen to know just which films are going to get nominated for the Best Picture Academy Award next year.

They are:

Up in the Air with ever charming man of many hats, George Clooney

Up, which has extra relevance due to headlines about “balloon boy”

The Hurt Locker, for once a bombing movie that’s not a bomb

An Education, which glamorously teaches you to stay away from con artists

Precious, the little 350-pound movie that could

And that’s it–there’s your five. No, wait! They’ve expanded the category to 10 nominees! We need five more! Oy!

Well, let’s throw in The Last Station. You can’t lose with Helen Mirren as Mrs. Tolstoy.

And Clint Eastwood‘s Invictus about Nelson Mandela–a no-brainer.

And Tom Ford‘s A Single Man, a designer movie if ever there was one.

So now we need two more! Will they fill out the category with District Nine? The Messenger? Nine? The Road? A Serious Man? The Lovely Bones? Inglourious Basterds?

How the fuck should I know?