Halloran Wins Race, Queens Elects America’s First Heathen


Holy Tyr! Queens voters made American history tonight, when they chose Dan Halloran as the nation’s first openly heathen elected official.

Halloran will serve as the City Council member from the 19th district, representing Bayside, Auburndale and part of Flushing. He and Kevin Kim were involved in a bruising campaign to the finish, which included many religious and racial fights and allegations.

Trips to both campaigns’ offices on Election Night revealed how different the two were. Shortly before the polls closed at the Kim campaign office, there was not one white person working there. Beneath a Shepard Fairey poster, a couple dozen Mandarin speaking volunteers hustled up rides to the polls on cell phones.

At Halloran HQ, there was hardly one non-white person, and the walls were adorned with ads for Tea Party protests.

Ironically, one of the first things Halloran said when addressing his supporters after Kim conceded was “I could never have believed in my wildest dreams of the coalition we have put together.” It didn’t look like much of a diverse ‘coalition’ to us, unless you count the mix of heathens and Roman Catholics.

Many of those Catholics were seething about an anti-pagan mailing that their own priest had written in their church’s newsletter over the weekend, which was re-distributed by the Kim campaign. Others were disturbed about allegations of “Asians driving buses in from New Jersey.” Board of Elections Commissioner for Queens and Halloran supporter, Judith Stupp, had been monitoring the situation all day.

Breaking with typical American tradition on Election Night, Halloran did not end his acceptance speech with “God bless America,” or even “Gods bless America.” But he did acknowledge the controversy his religion brought to his campaign. While thanking his law partner, he said “The next time you give me advice to take a website down, I’ll do it.” He joked about it again in relaying news to the assembled tea baggers of Republican victories in New Jersey and Virginia. “I would call this a Reagan revolution, except I’m not a protestant Irishman.”

One of the first things we over heard when we walked into Halloran HQ was “The Village Voice said we’d be lucky to break 30 percent. That’s bullshit!” Indeed, we had a wager with Edroso, who wrote that. If Halloran won, he’d have to buy us a stein of mead and a giant turkey leg at a Renaissance Fair. We’ll settle for a beer and some wings at Burp Castle.