Living

Why I’m Mad About The Carrie Prejean Sex Tape

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Yesterday, the bombshell dropped that dethroned Miss Calfornia Carrie Prejean has a sex tape floating around, one that the ever sensitive TMZ.com won’t publish because it’s just too tit-iliciously racy.

But just the fact that a tape like that exists makes my own chest swell with fury!

Surely, Carrie will ultimately sneak the video onto SOME site that has no qualms–hey, try this one, honey–thereby grabbing lots of press which will help promote her tell-all book. (The one she’s writing, not anything she’s reading. Duh.)

And it will make her every bit the slutty sensation Paris Hilton became thanks to her videotaped sexcapade–the one Paris was sort of mad at until it made her really, like, famous.

Already, Carrie’s topless shots gave her a bunch of street cred, along with cementing her massive name recognition–and nipple recognition too. Once the video leaks out like silicone, it will make her bigger than a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day float (which she’s inflated enough to be, by the way. Damn–more publicity.)

So let’s stop this tape from surfacing! Except for right here!