I don’t know about you kids, but whenever something really good happens to a friend of mine, I instantly think, “Oh, shit! This is a nightmare! They’re doing really well and this only underlines the fact that I’m a total failure!”
You see, in my insecure little world, it’s not enough for me to do sort of OK, but everyone else has to do really badly too. Well, not that badly–I don’t wish my friends total abject despair–but I’m sort of like the mother in Postcards From The Edge who’s happy for her daughter as long as she doesn’t become more famous than she is.
This chronic jealousy routine can be quite unpleasant for me since, rather than make me happy for someone else, the positive developments make me miserable for myself. In fact, one career advance for someone I know can mentally wipe away my own entire lifetime of achievement–I’m that petty.
Am I alone in this? If so, then I’m jealous of you.