Albany Makes Kids Stay in Booster Seats Until Age 8; Runnin’ Scared Says, “Enough!”


It’s a wonder modern children survive past their teens, overprotected as they are from dirt, walking, etc. Now we have the state demanding parents keep their kids in car booster seats until the age of eight. The old law let children out of the ass-cradles when they reached seven, but the new law was pushed through this summer and takes effect on Tuesday.

The stated reason for extended use of boosters — or, in Albany’s sinister usage, “child restraint systems” — is that children are not as big as we believed them to be in simpler times. The CDC has reported the average height for an eight-year-old as 4’2″, and the “recommended height to use an adult seat belt is 4 feet 9 inches,” reads the bill. “Therefore, including 7 year olds in the booster seat requirement is a reasonable step that recognizes the reality of the physical size of this age group, and will enhance the safety of these children when they are passengers in an automobile”…

This nonsense had been enacted in other states previously, and Albany probably lived in fear that it would be accused of child neglect until it passed a similar law.

Pshaw! Back in the day, when Mom staggered out of Sol’s and floored it, we toddlers in the back seat experienced a valuable taste of the cruelties of life, and prepared us for all manner of hard knocks, literal and figurative. Today we are effete scriveners, but next to the new breed we are John Wayne. When these poor kids grown up, they will probably require pressurized suits just to go out of the goddamn house.

We encourage noncompliance, and when the cops or child protective services hassle you, tell them you’re raising young men and women, not hothouse flowers. Photo via