Cheek, In Review: 7 Days of Runnin’ Scared


Kristen Stewart, New Moon premiere. Twitpic via KriisStewart_.

Our Man of the Week is Rudolph Giuliani. He started off with confused but belligerent comments about the KSM trial, making him look like a candidate for something. Then word leaked that he would not run for Governor, then that he would run for Senator. His people deny everything, and even the bookies are confused. Way to keep ’em guessing, Rudy!

The runner-up: Sarah Palin, pushing her gosh-darned book (in which our own Hillary Clinton is mentioned), with some help from Newsweek, which pictured her in shorts, thus inflaming her advocates and firing up the crowds.

Mayor Bloomberg got defied! By the city council! On a comical five-minute grace period on parking tickets. But it’s a start!

In Albany they’re resting after a splendid week of deficit non-reduction. blocked by Carl Kruger, among others. Putting the cherry on top, Governor Paterson admitted the now dead license plate scheme was a “revenue grab.” Democracy in action!

Albany alumnus Joe Bruno‘s trial proceeded, with his secretary describing his “demeaning” treatment of her and the alleged recipients of Bruno’s dishonest services dummying up. Now Bruno’s friends are starting to bail on him. Tom Robbins pronounces it “the best Albany show since Legs Diamond held court at Jack’s Oyster House.”

Rightbloggers feasted on Obama’s treasonous bow to Japanese royals, which was the high point of their week, as their NY-23 champion Doug Hoffman, who “unconceded” his race, asked them for money to assure victory against ACORN, then re-lost anyway. Looks like ACORN is fixing everything, like they did the 2008 Presidential election and Twitter.

Someone Got Murdered at Sanford Street and Myrtle Avenue in Brooklyn, East 168th Street and Allerton Avenue and White Plains Road in The Bronx, and at York Avenue and Yale Avenue in Staten Island. Also, cops shot a bouncer.

The KSM terror trial‘s coming. New Yorkers are divided over it. An Arizona Congressman warned of the kidnapping of Mike Bloomberg’s daughter. The Post suggested other wimpy New Yorkers would refuse to kill the terrorists. We await the change of venue to Fritters, Alabama.

We talked to Amy Braunschweiger, author of Taxi Confidential, and reminisced on the first (and second) Village Voice film polls.

The cops raided newspapers — not for what they print, but in pursuit of a union that handles what they print it on.

Did the holidays begin a little early this year? Oh well, on to the depressing Thanksgiving-related press releases!

This week’s Studies in Crap revisited the nightmare of macrame.

The Hudson River airspace was split into two lanes. A man jumped off the George Washington Bridge. Bronx residents wanted a mosque to keep it quiet. L train riders sounded off. The G train killed someone. A family sued the city for mishandling their murdered daughter’s body. Cops got that 15-year-old’s shooter. Prosecutors charged a phony Staten Island doctor, the H&H Bagel king (but is it a schmear job?), and a whole lot of alleged mob guys. Aggregators aggravated. Castro lives. Wally Backman sort of rejoined the Mets! Women charged discrimination at B&H Photo Video. Flight schedules got even more fucked up. New York kids got an unnecessary boost. Gay-marrieds accrued some (but not necessarily all) benefits. NYPD showed some seriousness about subway gropers. Atlantic Yards got another lawsuit.

R.I.P. Oreo, the Oprah Winfrey Show, and this week.